Letters of Recommendation: Who and How to Ask in 2025

July 3, 2025

By: Syd Mania

Whether you’re applying to college, grad school, or a job in 2025, a strong letter of recommendation can tip the scales in your favor. It’s more than just a formal requirement—it’s a window into who you are beyond your grades or resume. A thoughtful, well-written recommendation can highlight your skills, work ethic, and character in a way that no test score or transcript ever could.

But getting a great letter starts with knowing who to ask and how to ask. With more students and professionals applying for competitive opportunities, making the right request—and doing it the right way—can make all the difference.

What Recommendation Letters Are Used For

Letters of recommendation are commonly required in higher education applications—especially for undergraduate and graduate programs. You’ll often be asked to submit one to three letters that showcase your strengths and potential.

Some job applications may not ask for formal letters but might welcome them as optional documents. In such cases, including a well-written recommendation can set you apart. For scholarships, fellowships, or internships, letters are almost always a key part of the evaluation process.

Choosing the Right Person to Write Your Letter

The most impactful letters come from people who know you well and can speak about your abilities with confidence and specificity.

For College Applications

If you’re applying to college, aim to ask:

  • A teacher from junior or senior year in a subject where you performed strongly

  • Your school counselor, even if you need to schedule time to help them get to know you better

Admissions officers value recent and relevant experiences, so teachers who worked with you during upper-level coursework are ideal.

For Graduate Programs

Professors in your intended field are the best choice. If you’ve been working, you can also ask:

  • A supervisor who understands your academic goals

  • A mentor from work or a former professor who remembers your performance and dedication

For Job Applications

Professional references work best here. Consider asking:

  • A past or current manager from a relevant role

  • A senior colleague who collaborated with you closely

  • A mentor who has seen your professional growth

If the person has seen your work ethic and achievements firsthand, they’ll be better positioned to vouch for you in a meaningful way.

How to Request a Letter of Recommendation

Asking for a recommendation can feel intimidating—but it doesn’t have to be. Here’s how to do it with clarity and confidence.

Start with a Conversation

Before you send a written request, try to speak with the person in person or over a call. Let them know:

  • What you’re applying for

  • Why you think they’re the right person to recommend you

This gives them the opportunity to say yes or no without pressure. And if they seem hesitant, take that as a sign to ask someone else—it’s better to have a strong, confident letter than a generic one.

Prepare a Brag Sheet or Resume

Once they agree, make their job easier. Share your updated resume or, if you’re still in school, a “brag sheet” that includes:

  • Classes you took with them and your performance

  • Key accomplishments or projects

  • Personal traits you’d like them to highlight

  • Your academic or career goals

Give them everything they need to write a letter that’s both specific and persuasive.

Send a Formal Request Email

After your conversation, follow up with an email. Include:

  • A brief message thanking them again

  • Your resume or brag sheet

  • Details about the opportunity you’re applying for

  • How and when the letter should be submitted

If the letter needs to be mailed, provide a pre-addressed, stamped envelope. If it’s online, include clear instructions or links.

Follow Up with a Reminder

A week or two before the deadline, send a friendly check-in. This isn’t nagging—it’s a helpful nudge, especially during busy seasons. You can also use this chance to thank them again and see if they need anything else from you.

Always Say Thank You

After the letter has been submitted, send a thank-you note. A short email is fine, but a handwritten note can leave an even better impression. And don’t forget to update them on your outcome—people who write recommendations often enjoy hearing how things turn out.

Tips for a Stronger Recommendation Process

  • Ask early. For college or grad school, start asking weeks (or months) in advance. Teachers are often flooded with requests in the fall.

  • Don’t take it personally if someone declines. Not everyone feels comfortable writing recommendations, and that’s okay. It’s better to find someone else than to get a lukewarm letter.

  • If you leave a job, ask then. A departing manager will have fresh memories of your performance, which makes for a stronger letter.

Requesting a recommendation is all about respect—respect for their time, and respect for your own future. When done thoughtfully, it not only improves your chances but also strengthens the professional relationships that support you in your journey.

Also See: Tips for Navigating College Fairs (In-Person & Virtual)

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